The Sooner, the Better: When You Should Meet Your Date

Oct 3, 2016 | Cliché Alert, First Date Survival Kit

“The sooner, the better,” is one of my online dating mantras. It refers to when you should meet people in person for the first time. I lived by this when I was dating; the more I prolonged meeting people in person, the more I filled in the blanks about them. My rule was to meet people as soon as I feel comfortable with the idea, which typically did not take long.

Side note: I often felt iffy about meeting people in person simply because they only had 3 or less pictures on their profile. My tip? 7 pictures is the sweet spot. This assumes there is variety and matches can tell what you look like in each picture.

I mention the “the sooner, the better” mentality because there was one time I wish I would’ve gone against that advice. See, I went on a date with a guy a couple of days after we started messaging, and it was a waste of my time.

I strongly felt like I would have predicted that had I spent a little more time getting to know him.

I say the date was a waste of my time because he was extremely late. I messaged him when I arrived [a tad early]. It took him 40 minutes after I arrived to message me back that he would be late…50 minutes late to be exact! Clearly this had never happened to me because I would have come equipped with a rule about how long to wait for a date otherwise.

He hardly apologized and did not have an excuse. Furthermore, he acted disappointed when I cued the end to our date, as if I was going to give him more than an hour of my time. Especially after having already waited about an hour for him to show up. I was kind and civil throughout the date, but the whole situation was annoying.

This same guy complained to me about getting stood up in online dating, which I have to wonder is due to his inability to show up even remotely on time. Any normal person would leave when their date takes over 30 minutes to show up, except for me, of course. 😉

I share this first date story alongside advice of “the sooner, the better” because there is a balance between meeting too quickly and waiting too long to meet. I wish I could specify the amount of messages you should send before meeting in person, but the numbers vary greatly.

“The sooner, the better,” is great to live by, but “sooner” varies in each relationship…you must play it by ear, knowing that every situation is different.

One size does not fit all in this regard. There are almost always exceptions, and I am wary of absolutes, such as “never,” in dating advice (and in general).

“The sooner, the better” is important advice in reference to when you should meet your date, but be sure you are comfortable with the person (and the person feels comfortable with you) before taking that step. Every situation will be different.

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